Fathers, Contend for Your Children!
‘He will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers’
-Malachi 4:6.
Nothing wakes up fathers like a child’s ‘coming out.’ You are now alerted: all is not well with this one you love. (S)he is telling you a truth that is not the truth. What a wake-up call.
Wake up to your authority
Whether you like it or not, or feel it, you have unique authority as the co-creator of the child. For better or worse, no other man will impact your child as much as you will. Fathers possess profound (although not ultimate) authority to confirm a child’s value as male or female. Own it.
Stand in that authority
Whether your child recognizes or desires your authority, you still have it. Whether you misuse or underuse it, you still have it. Take responsibility before God and this child to use your authority better. Own your failures. Ask God to forgive you. Ask your child to forgive you (if wise or possible). Just don’t let pride stop you.
Contend on your knees for your child’s best
For sure you feel helpless. And speechless. What to say or do at this point that will make any difference? Surrender the child to Jesus and His friends. In truth, you are surrendering yourself to Jesus. A lot is happening here. Praying for his or her conversion converts you. Helplessness becomes hopefulness in prayer. Lament a little about your limits but keep going; offer the child to Father, Son, Spirit--the ultimate Source of your child’s sexual dignity. Need help? Check out Oasis online or order Clear Love for Confused Parents.
Contend in clarity
You have authority as father to contend against the lie that your child is the sum of disordered desires. (S)he isn’t. In truth, the child is your beloved son and daughter, and most importantly, God’s, Who never categorizes His creation on the rainbow spectrum. Align yourself with the truth of who your child is: the fruit of love and created to be fruitful. Contend against the enemy’s efforts to derail your child’s fruitfulness.
I love Luke 13:6-9 and have used these verses as a guide to contend for my kids’ fruitfulness. The passage describes a gardener advocating for a fruitless bush that the landowner wants to destroy. ‘Don’t! I’ll do everything in my power to break ground and fertilize, to coax life from its barrenness!’
Fruitlessness isn’t the last word over your child. Declare that. Use your authority and pray that God will employ many sources, including yourself, to awaken the sleeping vine.
Contend for a unified front
Your wife needs your spiritual leadership. She bears this burden differently from you and needs your strong and, at times, more objective perspective on the child. Don’t be worldly. Remind your wife of who your child truly is. Don’t allow your marriage to become divided by non-Christian ideas about sexuality and the despair that follows. Despair is the enemy of your souls; contend against that spirit of death in the power of Jesus, Who lives to enliven you both.
Contend in compassion
Jesus looks at wandering people with much love (Matt. 9:35-37), including your child. Consider His faithfulness to you in your foolishness. Extend that to your child. Look at him or her with loving expectancy. You may well be the one who sees the child most clearly and compassionately. What a gift! Your truthful mercy invites the child to consider how small rainbow identification is, and how boundless the wonders of His love.
‘Children are a reward, a heritage from the Lord.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.’
-Ps. 126:3-5
We are super excited to make Queered Out available to everyone for free starting this July. Thirteen amazing witnesses enliven eight videos that make clear: Jesus and friends set seekers free from homosexuality and free for full and fruitful lives. Enough about rainbow liberties. Jesus alone unlocks the captive heart.
Stay tuned for Queered Out. And please let others know. He is the way out!
Every day during Pride Month, we will be lifting up parents and any LGBTQ+-identified children. Please email Abbey at afoard@desertstream.org to be included in our daily prayer.